Category Archives: life & living

Maria Rubinke Is My New Ladycrush

Maria Rubinke

Art by Maria Rubinke via Hi Fructose

June 18th I turned twenty-nine years old. Holy crap. I have fought so hard to get my health back on track these last few years – harder than I ever imagined I would have to. It feels good to be here, where I am, today. There truly are no coincidences.

Suffering is justified as long as it becomes the raw material of beauty.”
– Sartre

A dream can be a terrifying fucking thing sometimes.

Three years ago I finally, finally admitted to myself that the nagging feeling that I want to, in some fashion, be a clothing designer, wasn’t going to go away anytime soon. Eight months later, part way through: the healthfail avalanche. Today I pre-enrolled in that same patternmaking course I got part way through in 2010 – I have to do an entry test in a couple of months which will determine whether or not my app. is accepted. The deal from now on: laser focus like never before. Practice, practice, practice.

It was so, so exciting to be back in the Fashion Tech workroom to enrol again today. I was on such a high when I left. And then, a couple of hours later, self-doubt swoops in: Aren’t you too OLD to be doing this? It will be too hard! You are supposed to have a career by now, what is wrong with you? If your dream was meant to be, it would have happened by now!!! To which I say: I am not listening to your shit. No way in hell. The better part of me has walked through enough fire to know she is gonna come out the other side. Might shed a few tears, might bend a little, but I will not break.

Fear, properly harnessed, will shoot your ass to the moon.


by Moon

Art by Moon, via Supersonic Electronic

SPRING. I crave the first signs that the warmer seasons are heading toward us – these past few weeks it has definitely begun happening. The air is different, the days a little longer, and a few sunny, crisp ones are emerging here and there. Spring is coming! I cannot wait.

Other rad things about the last couple of months:

♥ More yoga, deeper stretches. Bikram here I come.

♥ RJD2 [ Ghostwriter | Smoke and Mirrors | June ]

♥ Crystals! Rose quartz, amethyst, lapis lazuli, citrine, obsidien, clear quartz, turquoise, jasper, tiger’s eye. The next few pieces of jewellery that I’m creating for the shop are gonna be so much fun.

♥ Eating a rad meal with my family at La Boca Loca in Miramar, to farewell my brother and his girlfriend, as they headed overseas, on a philosophy-inspired adventure, for a few months. For dinner I had rad tortilla soup, which they had no qualms about veganizing, with a side of mexican coleslaw; the mojito I downed was also delicious 😉

♥ Layers of lace. Black and pastels.


Batman Vogue

Batman x Peter Lindbergh, via Iain Claridge


♥ I enjoyed this post I stumbled upon, which comes via Kris Carr’s blog: The Top 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before 30. Good timing to have come across it around the time of my birthday!

♥ Finally having Ash over for dinner! On the menu: Vegan spaghetti & meatballs, with a side of Maia’s awesome spicy broccoli. Nom Nom. It was a stormy night, all the better for lounging around and watching some vintage Addam’s Family and a little Animaniacs.

♥ The people I love that put up with my tendency to fold up into myself now and then.

♥ Edward Snowden, the NSA surveillance whistleblower. A heroic act. It is so, so important that the public be informed of what he has leaked. We need and deserve to know. But do enough of us desire to know…? It is humbling that he is 30 years old, practically the same age as me; puts my problems and challenges in perspective, that’s for damn sure.

“I understand that I will be made to suffer for my actions,” but “I will be satisfied if the federation of secret law, unequal pardon and irresistible executive powers that rule the world that I love are revealed even for an instant.”
– Edward Snowden, via the Guardian


via Tumblr




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Frankie Says Relax (RIP): Saying Goodbye, Something New



♥ ♥ ♥

Our big fluffy boss-cat, Frankie, died a month ago. She was hit by a car outside the path to our flat, just up the road from the house where she was born five years earlier.

I appreciated her radness every single day and I miss her so, so much. She was a big, badass shining light; she was the boss of our house! I miss her wisdom, her company, her faces. I miss her soft, fluffy grey belly, her all knowing yellow-green eyes and the beautiful shapes she made. If her body was as huge as her personality, she would have crushed that damn car!

Born an Aro cat, died an Aro cat. One week before we moved away. Fate tastes very bitter sometimes. We have ninja-claimed the curb our neighbour buried her in and turned it into a memorial, complete with two native shrubs and an engraved granite plaque.

I like to think that Frankie’s spirit is out there in the ether, chasing birds and playing games with her brother Moridin, who died the same way in late 2009. They were our yin and yang cats; now they can hang together again.

It has been a heart-wrenching time. Our lil cat Penny, who through the trauma of losing her sister, has been so super brave, is helping me keep my shit together. If you’re not a cat person that probably sounds crazy; I’m down with that. Our family is smaller but strong.

Sometimes having the rug pulled from under your feet can bring a sudden clarity to things that have been mulling around in your subconscious, quietly demanding action. This has been one of those times for me. My intuition began to bitchslap me through my grief: I had been throwing my creative energy against a wall.

It was time to let go. So I resigned from my merchandising job; as it played out, what needed to be done was too physical for what I am capable of at the moment; this has been weighing heavy on me, because I love love love visual styling – it’s so much fun and I am awesome at it. But the stockroom stuff – no. Can’t do it.

Also, I can’t sew right now, unless I want to spend days in much worse pain than usual. All of the made-to-order products in my shop are on hiatus. My range of sterling silver pendants are 100% still available, though! I am loving the Khufu necklace right now – check Acid Cult for more offbeat jewellery goodness.

I need to give myself space to heal and stop trying to force it. This gauntlet of health complications is like a test from the universe to see how patient I can be about getting back to Fashion Tech to do the Pattern Design Certificate I have dreams every night about finishing. It has been two years and counting! I had been hoping to enrol for the January class, but I am not ready yet.

So I am taking a deep breath, a let-it-go breath; I am reminding myself that I will triumph in the end.

Frankie passing away, setting aside sewing, quitting my dream retail job, moving across town. The last month has felt like an avalanche of change.

2013, eh? Phew. Bring it on.

Metallic Embroidery by Yuanzi WangYuanzi Wang’s amazing work @ Lancia

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Filed under being happy, cats, life & living